If you don’t eat them, you don’t love Amurica.

Today in the snack aisle of the grocery store, I came across a bag of chips blazing its star-spangled pride so bright that it burned a hole through my sunglasses.


American cheesy paprika chips, eh? Put out by Lay’s. Well, I found it my patriotic duty to make sure that these chips ended up where they’re supposed to be– in the belly of an American, now damnit.

Well, it turns out they don’t taste like cheese, and they don’t taste like paprika, and they REALLY don’t taste like americans… they just taste like chicken-flavored ramen.



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